科学家 兰迪·马什 • 彼得·尼尔森 • 阿方斯·莫费斯托博士 • 凯文·莫费斯托
斯帕克
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记者 汤姆·汤普森 • 塔米·汤普森 • 汤姆·帕斯里克 • 克里斯·施瓦伦波斯 • 比尔·基根 • 比基尼侏儒
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噗屎快车是一个由粪便组成的火车头，也是汉基先生最常用的交通工具。它首次出现在“红橇坠落”，汉基先生用它载着孩子们前往北极拜访圣诞老人。尽管斯坦和凯尔对它散发的恶臭感到不快，但卡特曼却视若无睹。噗屎快车似乎能够自动铺设轨道、清除粪便，这表明它可以在任何地方行驶。
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汉基先生最早在“南方公园试播集”就在开头动画出场了，但在正片中要直到“圣诞便便汉基先生”才正式登场。
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